hairy pits

There once was a pickle named Pickilina. She was the most beautiful pickle in pickle world. she had so many warts and smelled sooooo .. well pickley. One day she was walking her potato chip named Potato Chip(she was beautiful, but not a great name giver). "LALALA," she said. Then a giant hand swooped up and got her. "AAAHHH!" she screamed. It was a Bella!!!(they love pickles) "NO! NOT THE BELLA!!!" she yelled. This Bella said "MWAHAHAHA!! IT'S PICKLE TIME!!!" Then Bella saw this pickle and said "EWW!!! This pickle is HAIRY!!!" Bella dropped the pickle and Pickilina realized that she needed to shave her pits cause it was like a jungle in there. Once she shaved them, she realized little french fries were living in them. Pickilina grew up and married a whealthy man. Together, they bought themselves a giant soda bottle and lived with their son and daughter, Son and Daughter. Pickilina was never eaten cause all the Bellas heard about the HAIR!!! But her family was eaten and Pickilina forgot to shave for a while, so her whole house was clogged up with hair. Pickilina was hung by her own hair. That my children, is why you should always shave your pits. =) GOOD NIGHT FREMONT!! YAHHH!!!!
Awards this book got-
From the Razor AND Shaving Cream Inc., Best Shaving Story Of 2009
From The I Love Pickles Foundation, Scariest Pickle Story OF ALL TIME!!
From The New York Times, Oddest Story About Hairy Pickles 2000-2010
Authors Comment- It really is quite an honor to get this many awards. I love writing weird stories so me and my partner in biz created the Diarrhea Book Club. Why did we chose this name? It is because our books are bursting with stinky and unusual flavor.
Critics Review-
Mary Hoshower- Razor and Shaving Cream Inc.- Wow!! I loved this book! It was so deep. The author really captured the characters feelings.
Timbo Bucko Tootho- I Love Pickles Foundation- IT WAS SO FRIGHTING! I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS!! I HOPE I NEVER EAT A HAIRY PICKLE!! The book was moving and great.

Karen Wayne- New York Times- Well it was certainly odd.. I have to say i read it a few times to make sure I read it right...